Glastonbury Police have issued an urgent,unreserved,apology concerning Dead Man in VIP toilets. They explain that in FACT it was Louis Walsh in state of stricture resulting from an attempt to get a quick, cheap, thrill. Louis had been circling Glastonbury ‘Camp’-ers looking for a LOO-King to come with him at the Boy-Zone … (tailor made for I.T.) Louis was disappointed to get no takers or fakers (Jedward-Bedward were two-busy bodies elsewhere)so, in his hasty need
as greed to pump up his own gas – he slapped his donker in the Hot Air Hand Dryer – hoping…. He hadn’t accounted for maggot invasions or abrasions– and got a severe shock when his pinpoint was entered and munched ….as maggots hit target again. This sudden foolish oversight caused him to have a minor stroke and leave him freeze-framed in stricture. Police stated that he is now recovering in A&E with the Will to feel Young again on a slow-clap hand-job and is expected to recover within the next 4 minutes….he rejected an offer to speak to Dr. Chris about testicular difficulties which could arise….pity…
No-one really cared though – he’s hardly George Michael – is he????? (I couldn’t care-less whisper….. A.D. vice advice Louis : for healthy living heal-thy-living from Jesus as a chide – who saw it all coming ….at Glastonbury….)
Eve Guevara-Sansom ©
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
NEWS-FLASH :GLASTONBURY POLICE APOLOGISE FOR MISFEED
(7 posts) (6 voices)
Current rating::
-
Posted 1 year ago #
-
Bonjo, give it about 8 months, then bump this too.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Ironduke
offlineMemberGood thing- they are linking to a charity and so are attempting to use humour for a good cause. Let us not chide them for this.
Bad thing- if it was literate, you'd only be more able to realise how direly unfunny it is. Now on that point, you can chide your ass off.
Posted 1 year ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.