I haven't even started making them up Scroat.
Can't give you a Pope story, but my uncle is married to the niece of the late Rocco Forte.
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I haven't even started making them up Scroat.
Can't give you a Pope story, but my uncle is married to the niece of the late Rocco Forte.
For a year I lived next door to Kenneth Cope and was on nodding terms. Once when I couldnt start my car, he came out to lend me a hand. But still it didnt start.
Good as a '60s ghost, crap mechanic.
Lorraine Kelly lives along the road from me, and her daughter, who is gorgeous, is at the same school as my son. While a pupil at the same school, my husband was taught by Ricky Ross, and KT Tunstall was in my friend's year at the same school.
Former Scotland footballer Richard Gough is my friend's ex-husband.
George Galloway and Andrew Marr are two of the notable FPs of my old school.
Almost done...
I thought Chris Tarrant was going to kill me once. He was playing in a charity cricket match in Henley, and I asked him something totally inconsequential like 'Do you think you're going to win?' or something. When he replied with something equally trivial, I made the big mistake of asking 'Is that your final answer?' He came over to me in a rather threatening manner, and with his nose a mere six inches from mine, said: 'Do you know, that's the first time anyone's ever said that to me.'
A bit scary.
When I was a safe distance away, I waved my mobile at him and shouted 'Do you want to phone a friend?' and ran like buggery.
Ooh! Just remembered - when I was about 10, we were in Scarborough for the day and went to Peasham Park. Couldn't understand why there were so many people until we stumbled across 'It's A Knockout' being filmed and ended up being in the crowd and spotted on the tv.
My dad spilt a drink over Joanna Lumley in the local Rep.
Alan Cumming is my pal's cousin.
Andy Murray's mum Judy was at school with my step-mum, as were Ewan McGregor's parents, and my step-mum used to babysit Ewan.
Plus she was at Uni with Fred McAuley, who calls her 'Alf' as her maiden name was Ramsay.
I worked with David Niven's great-niece, and also with the partner of one of A.A. Milne's relatives.
My dad approached Eddie Izzard at the Edinburgh Fringe and asked him, "What brings you to Edinburgh?".
My cousins were pupils at the same school as Gordon Brown, although he left the year before the oldest one started.
Olympian Liz McColgan's eldest son is one of my son's best friends.
Jeni, It's sad to hear that Michelle Pfeiffer has failing eyesight. (dons crash helmet and runs away quickly). I was once told by a female friend that I looked like Gary Oldman, but I think they put her away for her own safety.
Quaz, you're on elephant duty tonight for that.
I was Monty's double.
I once saw Rodney Bewes rowing a boat on the Thames. It was an ill-considered trip, we both knew I was going to abuse him.
I drank Monty's double. He was furious!
I had sex with Twisted Sister. I was very, very drunk.
Almost done...
Ruud Gullit chatted me up in one of the bars in Edinburgh Airport.
Sorry Jeni, it was an open goal. I hate doing Elephant duty, 'Tiddles' keeps nicking my phone to make trunk calls.
I'll get my coat.
I think we've discovered Three Degrees of Jen - step aside Kevin Bacon.
Good idea. Let's try the Kevin Bacon game with Jeni instead. I'll open with Jenifer Aniston.
I photographed Linda Bellingham doing one of her "IsMe" adverts a few weeks ago. She still looks good for her age.
I danced with a girl who danced with a man who danced with the Prince of Wales.
I walked past George Lucas in the first class section of a jet, he was wearing dark glasses, holding his newspaper up at an odd angle, and really, really trying very hard not to be recognised.
I should have just said "Episode 1", and walked away tutting... but you never think of these things at the right time.
My dad used to do the gardening in the house next door to Joanna Lumley's house.
I saw Jordan's mum in Ikea once.
Bonjo, did you offer to help G. Lucas with a chin implant? That would have been kind of you.
The base player from my old band once lived next door to Kate Winslet, and played base for 'The Mission' , and 'The Jesus and Mary Chain' for one tour each. It's getting desperate now.
It's "bass"!
How Low Can You Go?
PS Bonjo- how did you know it was Jordan's Mum?
I met a man whose (female) cousin had a fling with The Prince of Wales (pre-Diana). Of course, no names, no pack-drill, but think of dark Irish beer.
Ok, as tenuous as it gets - both my dogs are/were of the 'Sandringham' pedigree, and one of their very distant relatives may have been tickled under the chin by the Queen.
Maybe.
My dog Monty is the grandson of a Plushcourt dog and they usually win Best in Breed at Crufts.
Will that do?
My lady, Maddy, owns a little pub in the middle of nowhere and we often have celebs in. Mostly they are completely ignored.
The other night Guy Richie was in with his new girlfriend and his dog. Maddy talked to the dog, I didn't notice him at all but the barman said "piss off you already own Ashmore" when he asked if he could buy a Hamlet.. How we laughed. He once bought that actor who played the pikey fighter in. No one recognised him either.
My daughter served Ludavic Kennedy a half of lager - he died the next day, but we keep that one quiet.
The Benett Arms: not so regulars include
Princess Anne - When the kids were at prep school
Egon Rowney - had stroganof dropped in lap by previous landlord
Guy Richie - bit of a local
Madonna - but not any more, naturally
That pikey fighter actor
Sir Terry Pratchett - but not recently, sadly
Ludavik Kennedy - before we killed him he sadly passed away
Lord Andrew Lloyds Bank - miserable sod, used to live down the road
... and loads of others that I don't recognise as I seldom see the pap rags.
When I was 21 I lived with a flame haired actress called Roxy. When she was 16 she had a date with a creep who said he was in a band. She chucked him straight away as he dribbled when he tried to kiss her. I've never been able to take Jules Holland seriously ever since.
I was on 'Cue Gary' with Gary Wilmot.
I was cut up on the M4 just by the turn-off to Windsor by Prince Edward in a green range rover (of course)
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