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Have you met a really unimportant celebrity? How did it turn out?
Who has the best story from the least exciting celebrity?
Here's my entry - I once had Sunday lunch at Guru Josh's house, roast lamb cooked by the man himself.
I also sold some rather vile jewellery to Rolf Harris's wife. Obviously this was on another occasion.
Had a toilet confusion with Wayne Sleep - how many women can say that - was in a restaurant and may have overdone the silly milk slightly because I got lost looking for the toilets. Found Wayne Sleep wandering up and down a corridor having exactly the same problem. We joined forces and with the combined power of our mighty brains managed to locate the lavs.
It's not a classic anecdote, but when I was a hot, firm-breasted, lesbian crowd safety steward at a major music venue, I got to finger four of the five members of [REDACTED].
Back in my late teens and early twenties, I managed to snog an extraordinary number of Australian Soap stars.
I've also turned down a date with a former Levi's Model.
I also once met actor James Cosmo at a family wedding and he asked me to look after his young son.
His actual words were; "Here hen, hud ma wean, Ah'm burstin' for a pish."
My husband, brother-in-law and myself also taught Ricky Tomlinson, one of the many McGann brothers, and Chris Barrie how to do a Dashing White Sergeant at the same wedding.
My dad and I were sworn at by Niki Lauda.
And Robert Duvall leant against my car at some traffic lights until I shouted at him.
I've shared an elevator with David Mellor.
No, you're thinking of a symposium.
Oh, and I appear in the background in the 'Sex and the City' episode where they all went to LA.
Considerably.
And Robbie Williams spoke to my son as we boarded the same 'plane.
Linda 'Terminator' Hamilton asked me if I could pass her the salt in a Restaurant.
Bill and Hilary Clinton looked around the Alumni Soc office when I was in it. Was supposed to be showing them the computer system for calling graduates and asking them for cash, but got overcome by how utterly sexy in the flesh Bill was and just made high-pitched meeping noises at him.
and just made high-pitched meeping noises at him.
I used to work in a restaurant that is often booked out for entire parties when there is golf on around here. One time, I served Hugh Grant and Samuel L Jackson dinner.
Can't say that Hugh was as charming in real life as he appears on screen, and Jackson was quite abrupt but had the most amazing presence. He honestly commanded the entire room just by being in it.
I was runner on Sense and Sensibility. Hugh Grant = tit of the highest order.
I know we're supposed to be doing unimportant celebs and the Clinton's are not that, but, nearly thirteen years later, the memory of what a dingus I was makes me blush and I appreciate any opportunity to lessen my pain by talking about it.
This is as good a place as any to share.
I reckon your Clinton story and Wayne sleep story are the best so far.
Think I've said this one before but my sister graduated at the same Edinburgh ceremony where they gave Mugabe his honorary degree. Outside, my dad raised his camera to take his photo, and about four of Mugabe's henchmen whipped round, their hands inside their jackets...
Dad's always said thereafter that he wishes he actually DID have a gun.
I waved at Billy Connolly in Dingwall High Street, and he waved back. And I annoyed the lady who wrote The Gruffalo by praising The Gruffalo. That's not ALL she's written, thank you. She is more than just a one-Gruffalo pony. She has further strings to her bow.
Happy to put that on record.
Not.
Margi Clarke sat oposite me with two loud Americans on a train from Liverpool to Euston in 1988. She wanted to know whether there was a drinks trolley/proper bar on board and asked me, "Is this a pullman mate ?"
I replied, "Do I look like a fucking trainspotter ? "
Actually, I just mumbled "I don't know " rather sheepishly and continued fiddling with my Sony walkman.
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