Greece has taken radical steps to solve its debt crisis, by declaring itself to be annexed to Germany. Greek prime minister George Papandreou offered a complete and unequivocal surrender to a surprised Angela Merkel, who at first pretended not to be in.
There are fears that 'invasion contagion' could spread to Spain, Portugal and Ireland, but the UN has so far refused to condemn the imaginary military action. "We're considering a Resolution to impose a theoretical no-fly zone, but to be honest, we're struggling to build support", said Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon. "Countries all over the Eurozone are busily painting gothic crosses on their tanks and aircraft, we've never seen anything like it. Well, a bit like it, but that was a long time ago and best not mentioned."
Britain and France are so far the only countries to condemn the move. Cameron and Sarkozy, standing elbow-to-shoulder, declared an armistice with China which they hope will lead to a mutually beneficial capitulation. "If you're going to hand your country over, it's best to choose someone with deep pockets", declared Cameron.
As part of the Greek Government's attempt to impose German rule on themselves, a three-hour afternoon uncurfew has been imposed, forcing the citizens out of bed and into the streets. There were strong objections to plans for adequate plumbing, but despite this the prime minister narrowly won a vote to be deposed.
Germany is fearful that the cost of not fighting on so many fronts at once could be ruinous. "We don't toil with ruthless efficiency building all these superior cars and white goods, just to hand the profits over to olive farmers. We understand they don't have much work at the moment, but it's not for us to occupy them."