The world's richest men and women have revealed the secret of their financial
success: buy as much crap as possible in Poundland. A series of anonymous interviews with the secretive people on the rich list shows that a large number shop in the popular run-down high street store for basic items such as kitchen utensils, A4 writing pads and children's party invitations in their quest to hoard money. More surprising was the number found to be eating all of their meals from paper plates, as they claim it is cheaper than using priceless antique dinner sets, which require proper professional maintenance by trained members of staff. The professor in charge of the survey commented that "far from these people living the dream and scaling the heights of opulence in a way that Louis XIV would have envied, we are actually finding that the poor little misers won't turn the heating on, and avoid places like Harrods or even Marks and Spencers like the plague. And the biggest winner in all of this is Poundland"
Despite most of the rich list living in the US, Japan and Germany, the scrooges make special trips to the UK when in need of random crap, believing the savings they make in Poundland to make up for the cost of the fuel used in their private jets. However the survey found one group on the rich list who shunned the practise - the Chinese, who said they could find literally any piece of crap they desired by walking into any one of China's slave labour factories at any given moment.