The UK faces instant death by electrocution if it even touches anything in the Eurozone, warned Britain's newest financial risk watchdog today. The watchdog, led by the governor of the Bank of England Mervyn King, gave the warning in its inaugural report, which explained the number of ways in which the Eurozone has started exhibiting reckless behaviour with regards to its use of electrical appliances.
"We had thought we would be taking a look at what the bloody hell the entire global banking system thinks its playing at, when suddenly the Eurozone came thundering over the horizon, holding aloft a Sony surround sound system that was still plugged in at the wall, and a hot running shower fixture. Add this to the electric radio the Eurozone is keeping plugged in next to its running bath, and you've got the makings of an actual meltdown - human stylee"
However, other experts claim that this is just Europhobic scaremongering, pointing out that the report also advises people to stay away from Greek salads, Portuguese custard tarts and Spanish paella, as well as the Eurovision song contest.
One time member of the watchdog and now vocal critic Willem Buiter said:
“This is just plain and simple Euro bashing. Nobody said a word when the global banking system started taking its stereo into the bath. In fact certain groups positively encouraged it. Instead of making out that the Eurozone is the big electrical bogeyman, why don’t we all just grab some mops and clear up all the water on the bathroom floor? The real danger to my mind is someone slipping over and breaking their neck”
