Experts are warning of the dangers of extremely high levels of Bono in the west of England this weekend. Tom Barber, professor of predictable rock at the University of Minehead said "We have been monitoring the levels in Somerset and there is a serious risk of exposure to Bono."
"The predicted storm last year didn't materialise so we all dodged a bullet there, but this year we have 50,000 plus people who are at risk."
We are braced for mopping up the full impact of a hurricane of self-righteous piss, and plans are in place for a lengthy clean up of the area. It's going to be messy, it will be a long time before people can lead normal lives again."