Irresponsible father of three, John Marchant, from London, has finally seen sense and purchased a ‘Baby on board!’ sign in a bid to end years of targeted attacks on his family whilst out and about in their Citroën Berlingo.
“No sooner had we left the driveway, it’d all kick off. Other drivers would start trying to ram us off the road, pedestrians would hurl bricks and assorted scaffolding through the windows or try to overturn us at the lights.” he said, describing his family’s self-inflicted ordeal.
“A simple trip to the garden centre became like trying to drive a convicted psychopathic paedophile through a crowd of bereaved relatives. I can hardly blame them though, I mean, how were they supposed to know our babies were on board?”
John, initially incredulous as to the point of such signs, is now a firm convert. “Things have calmed down much more since we stuck the sign up.” he says, relieved. “Of course, we still get regularly cut up at junctions and on roundabouts but, then, that’s BMW drivers for you. I’ve got no problem with them; just as long as their ‘Cunt on board!’ sign is clearly displayed.