Rumours spread like wildfire around St Anselm’s nursery school that four-year-old Gracie Parker had suddenly ended her relationship with Mr Paws, a Fisher Price interactive cuddly fun puppy, blaming the collapse of their relationship on his constant need for attention.
"We had fun at first, but then things began to get quite cloying," claimed Gracie explaining the split, "we couldn’t go five minutes without him saying ‘I love you’ or ‘hug me’ or ‘let’s play find the bone together!’. I need to have an independent life, and see other toys."
Gracie is now spending all her time with Rockin’ Ted, a guitar-playing bear she is thought to have picked up on the street. However failing batteries mean Ted often appears unresponsive and sullen, and friends and colleagues worry that he comes from "a bad part of China". Eve Campbell, Gracie’s best friend until last playtime, went as far as describing Ted as "a product of a broken sweat shop".
Despite her peers’ concerns Gracie is convinced she can change Ted, and says he’s different when they’re alone together, "we have lovely tea parties and his manners are impeccable," she said, "unlike that smelly poop-poop head Paws."
Meanwhile Mr Paws has moved from Gracie’s bed to a neglected part of the Parker family play room, sharing a small box with a visually impaired Mr Potato-Head, and a family of amputee dolls. Yet the spurned playmate has no regrets about the end of his 16 day relationship with Gracie, and maintained that his ex was "super-duper!".
He was also heard to say that he was sure that they could still be "best friends forever!" just moments before an accident saw his chest torn open and his double AAs pulled out by Gracie’s father, James Parker, to go in the DVD remote.