Europe’s finances today remained deeply troubled over the collapse of the Geek economy.
Decades of over-investment in internet pornography sites have left the Geeks catastrophically in debt and unable to honour repayments on loans for computer equipment, iPhones and posters of Angelina Jolie for their bedrooms.
But Adrian Wittering, the Geek Prime Minister, last night turned on members of the Eurozone and warned finance ministers: “Don’t tell me what we owe – I’ve got degrees in maths and physics, you know, I’m perfectly well aware of the situation.”
Ministers had been trying to cobble together a package of austerity measures designed to bring the Geek economy under control, but negotiations are thought to have foundered on bankers’ demands for less spending on graphic novels.
Talks were progressing only with difficulty, according to German Chancellor Angela Merkel, as Geek representatives seemed unwilling to talk to anybody. She told journalists: “We are having great difficulty in persuading any of the Geek representatives to come out of their hotel bedrooms. And you should see the room service bill for blue movies and Kleenex tissues.”
There are widespread fears that if the Geek economy cannot be rescued, its collapse will have a knock-on effect for gimps, dweebs, dorks, spods and anoraks. Chancellor Merkel said: “The whole nerdzone could collapse, with disastrous consequences for the international trade in Star Wars and Star Trek memorabilia.”
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
Financial crisis deepens over collapse of Geek economy
(3 posts) (2 voices)
-
FraserWords
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
FraserWords
offlineMemberWell, yes, Mitsubishi Carisma, I used to be a motoring writer, you know, and, well, yes, bit too much Volvo in that car if I remember rightly. But at least you can look smug and rich when you sail past all those other cars, the luxury ones, the German ones and the Swedish ones and the Japanese imports and yes, the Toyotas, and rejoice that Mitsubishis don't cost a fortune for parts and just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on. We had a Colt for 10 years as a 2nd car - brilliant little thing. Sorry, am I still typing... Top on that pint of personality?
Posted 2 years ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.