Britain's recent unprecedented dry spell, which delayed thousands of dramas up and down the country from moving to a climax of dramatic tension, finally broke yesterday, as hundreds of protaganists rushed to stare moodily out at the street, as rain lashed the windows.
"I thought it was never going to fucking rain," said one leading lady, whose story arc had been backed up for a month. "There's been rising tension in my particular story for weeks, and I was dying to look out the window morosely, but it's hard to pull it off when there's sun streaming in through the window."
The lack of rain-lashed windows meant that no stories were able to reach a climax of pathos, and no heroes were able to reach crisis point before deciding that nothing could hurt them anymore and finally mount their fightback against the source of their conflict.
Some people even tried to move their dramatic struggles on without having a scene where the wind rattles with windows, and rain symbolically runs down the panes of glass against which the hero presses his or her face.
Others were forced to cancel their dramas. "We couldn't wait any longer and in the end, we decided not to split up and go our separate ways," said one heroine, "so you can imagine how pissed off I was when the heavens opened two days later."
With millions of stories climaxing at once, then going into their last phases, police fear the roads could become dangerous for the public, with soaring levels of car chases, last minute dashes and mad impetuous traffic stopping stunts, followed by schmaltzy speeches. Each of these incidents alone could be expected to infuriate commuters. If critical mass all happen on the same day, there could be riots.
'It happens every bloody year,' said one commuter, 'we have a little dry spell and the whole country goes to pieces. We've become a country of drama queens.'