Martin Bedford is said to be 'more than a bit upset' as judges at the Annnual 'Most Punchable Man' Contest gave the coveted honour to Michael Gove, the Education Secretary, at a prestigious awards ceremony in Derby's historic Docklands site yesterday evening.
'I just couldn't believe it' said the irritating, whiny voiced nobody, once described by his wife as 'the least successful shag I've ever had'. 'At the end of the day I suppose it's not up to me but when you've held the title for 7 years, 7 years I said, and then some public school educated tosspot comes along and just takes it from you without a by-your-leave or gentlemens excuse me I think it's a bit rich' Mr Bedford did continue but his drone was just too much for this reporter who put the phone down on him immediately.
Mr Bedford had been voted Britains 'Most Punchable Man' as a result of an online vote by 'people who had met him, or seen him, or heard a bit about him from a mate, y'know what I mean' by a significant margin year on year so the young pretender's last minute victory has come a shock to his many 'punch-in the-facebook' fans. One said 'I dunno where this Gove bloke lives but when I find him I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. After punching him in the face, that is'
Mr Gove was unavailable for comment but a spokesman who didn't wish to be identified but who looked an awful lot like George Osbourne said 'I wish him well. There but for the Grace of God go Dave and me, so good luck to him'