A new fly-on-the-wall documentary shows what happened when the leaders of the 3 main parties took their members on coach outings to the seaside recently. Here are extracts from it.
Conservative party members: You're going the wrong way down this one-way street, Dave. Turn round!
Dave Cameron: No, we're going the right way. All the other cars are going the wrong way, that's all.
CPM: We'll have a terrible crash! Turn round!
DC: Well, let's stop here, then I will spend some time listening to the views of the other drivers.
Driver shouting from car: You're going the wrong way, you f***ing idiot! Turn round!
DC: I have listened and considered, and I have decided to go in a slightly different direction.
CPM: Oh good, you've turned round.
DC: I have not turned round! Definitely not! I'm just going in a different direction...
Nick Clegg: We're going to the same place as Dave. He's going to Brighton and so are we.
Lib Dem Passengers: We want to go to Blackpool!
Nick Clegg: Brighton is the right place to go, and that's where we're going.
(Film of coach passing signs to Blackpool...)
Labour party passengers: Where are we going, Ed?
Ed Miliband: Well, we're not going where Dave's going. It's completely wrong.
LPP: So where are we going?
EM: Not where Dave's going.
LPP: So where's our destination?
EM: It's definitely not where Dave's going.
LPP: Let David Miliband or Ed Balls decide where we're going, then.
EM: I have been elected to drive this coach. It is a great honour to do so (rabbits on for hours. Film of coach not going anywhere...)