According to reports from Twitter, Athens has witnessed yet another wave of civil unrest. The clashes started at lunch time, intensified throughout the afternoon, then died down at around 10 pm over two and a half thousand years ago.
Tensions were caused by the mercantile class, who introduced coinage in 680 BC and used it to award themselves massive bonuses. Against the background of the so-called "crop crunch" - a land and agrarian crisis that gripped Ancient Greece during the late 7th Century BC - such indulgence caused seething resentment.
"It's basically the same pattern we're seeing all over the Eurozone," said a spokesman for an EU think tank. "It's Ancient Greece today, but it could be Portugal or even Spain's ancient past tomorrow."
For the Ancient Greeks, the last straw was the unpopular "austerity package" pushed through by chief magistrate Draco in 621 BC.
"People were expecting cuts," said one Athenian. "The problem is, no one expected anything quite this austere. Draco's measures will go down in history as a textbook example of harsh legislation. The tabloids have even coined a word to describe them. 'Shitty'."
The scenes in Athens are a fresh blow to the wounded city, where, more recently, police have been using tear gas on modern day protestors.
"We've been trying to confine the unrest as much possible," said chief of police Andreas Manos. "So obviously, we're disappointed to hear that it's spread as far as Ancient Greece."
Although these new riots ended over two and a half thousand years ago, tensions are expected to rumble on through the night and into tomorrow morning. Manos refused to be drawn on whether the unrest might have also spread to Greece's far future.
"Only time will tell," he said. "But I'd just like to reassure our public that the ringleaders of these latest riots, and indeed all the rioters, died over two and a half thousand years ago, so are unlikely to cause any more problems in the city centre."
