Can't find the ideal present for less well thought-of members of your extended family? Want to imply how much you dislike a colleague, without actually telling them to their face? Well look no further, the new Connotations catalogue is here!
Our carefully selected gifts are just thoughtless enough to upset, without causing open hostility. The disquieting choice for the discerning buyer, let your antagonists know you know they know what you really think of them.
New this month!
Strokey the Bear: With his lop-sided smile and one lazy eye, Strokey really is in a pickle! Strokey has long been a popular gift for over-confident neices and nephews, and our latest improvements make him even more unsettling. Featuring an even less poseable front paw, New Strokey now drools when you squeeze him!
Stalker Shirts: Give nosey, clingy acquaintances a taste of their own medicine with the new 'Stalker' T-shirt. Pick from a range of popular social media websites, and we'll send your 'friend' a t-shirt that features a screen grab of their own homepage, profile picture and contact information. Why not add a fake message on their wall, to cause a row with loved ones? Friends Reunited version now 60% off! Note: all sizes are slightly too small.
Young Fogey Range: Are you tired of your peers behaving more maturely than you? Sick of them refusing to go on an all-nighter on a Tuesday? Well bully them into more reckless behaviour with a gift from our Young Fogey Range! Choose from our two-footed trainer with a big zip up the middle, Ben Fogle-branded knitwear or our latest tartan iPhone cosy. You may also like our 'Blankets of Shame': featuring arm holes and foot-pockets, you can choose to have them embroidered with the recipient's actual age and date of birth. Only available in grey.
EverDamp® Socks: New this season! Made using the latest NASA technology, one EverDamp sock in every pair will always feel slightly wet. Also features 'The Twist®', so the toe and heel never quite line up. Sold unbranded, these plain black socks will worm their way into any sock collection, ready to randomly ruin someone's day. A bit like a phonecall from a relative at 7.30am on a Sunday, that suggests someone you can't quite remember is disappointed in something unspecific you did.
Hotn'Nob Mug: Featuring a heat-sensitive message on the bottom, these mugs proudly announce 'I'm a knob' every time their owner takes a sip of tea! They'll never know why the whole office ridicules them. Choose from Hotn'Nob, Hotn'Bellend or Hotn'Gay: perfect for colleagues who you're not sure about, but have your suspicions.
Wind-a-Phone: Irritate pious energy fascists with the perfect gift: a phone that gets its power from a wind-up handle. Featuring no battery at all, the carbon-neutral handset requires a massive physical effort to both send and receive calls. Heavy breathing is always guaranteed!
Waft Personal Grooming: with its shower gel, deodorant, toothpaste and a hypo-allergenic anti-fungal cream, Waft gently hints at inadequate personal hygiene. Discreetly packaged in bio-hazard tape, Waft is a must for the man who smells of everything!
Hat-tip to The All New Jeni B