The National Union of Procrastinators and Slackers has threatened to strike unless their inactions are fully recognised by government and business. At their poorly attended annual general meeting, chairman Denis Woods read out a long list of apologies for absence from the committee before mumbling a half hearted speech.
“For too long now it has been taken for granted by the go getters of this world that we will not get around to sorting out the simplest thing. While Richard Branson builds a private Rocket Ship and Bill Gates sets out to cure Malaria, our members spend hours toiling quietly in the background not getting around to dealing with the bills or doing the ironing. I’d like to see Alan Sugar try not looking for a cheaper car insurance deal or not changing his electricity supplier, he wouldn’t last five minutes. Avoiding doing things is hard work, and if you don’t know what you are doing then you could find yourself ironing instead of cleaning the filter on the tumble drier in order to avoid writing a report for work.”
With the advent of X-Box Live, Google, Facebook and Twitter, business leaders have argued that procrastination has become much easier and have even begun to outsource it to India and Mexico, where ‘Manana’ could be serious competition if only anyone could get around to setting up a company to do it.
(With thanks to Jeni B).