A drunk comes staggering out of a pub and promptly throws up all over a passing dog.
"Bloody hell, I can't remember eating that," says the drunk.
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A man's sitting at a bar in Glasgow when another punter come in and orders a pint of Heavy and a Pork Pie.
He chops the pie up using some kind of martial arts skills sweeps it off the bar with one hand into the palm of his other hand and shovels it down his neck then downs the pint in one before reordering the exact same.
Does the same thing again with the pie then takes his pint over to a table and sits down and starts to read a newspaper.
The first customer watches all of this then asks the barman: 'Hi, is that Kung fu?'
Barman looks up from polishing a glass and says: 'No he's just had the one so far.'
