Michael O’Leary, chief executive of Ryanair has emphatically denied that the airline has started to make its online charges “less frightening” for customers following investigations by the Office of Fair Trading.
“The final horror will remain a secret until the ‘buy now button’ is pressed. This is our unique selling point and it’s what our customers have come to expect from Ryanair. They love winding their way through a labyrinth of pages and falling into the hidden traps that lie in wait for them.”
Recently the OFT was “pleasantly surprised” to see that a ticket advertised for £14.99 one way to Dublin from Birmingham did actually cost £14.99 even after all of the “hidden add-on charges”. But the airline was quick to stress that this was a computer error and the final price should have been £1,499.
“This should never have happened and in the true spirit of Ryanair, we don’t feel we owe anyone an apology. The greedy little bastards who took advantage of that particular gremlin have already been invoiced for the full amount, plus an administration fee of £25 per person. Our website developer has also been summarily executed – er, dismissed.”
One satisfied customer said, “Ah, it’s all just part of the craic so it is. I mean don’t you just love it when you log on and all those cheeky little charges jump out and scare the shite out of you? It’s more exciting than playing Resident Evil 5.”
In another development Ryanair is to install an online countdown device. Customers will be able to play ‘beat the clock’ as the cost of their tickets rises every thirty seconds during the booking transaction.