David Cameron and the Sun joined forces today to criticise a primary school for forcing children as young as five to wear 'fetish like' school uniforms. The outfit, similar to those commonly worn by prostitutes, strippers and porn stars, consists of a short black skirt, white socks and a white blouse. Worryingly, some parents dress their children with pigtails, in a sick attempt to make them look even more like the whores their uniform is inspired by.
'We cannot allow this disgraceful practice to continue,' said the Tory leader. 'Under a Conservative government, all children will be made to wear burqas and smeared with pigshit to keep the pervs at bay.'
ASDA defended its sale of the uniforms, but promised that all profits from their sale would be given to shareholders.