The music of Chas & Dave has come in for fierce criticism with a lack of contemporary role models being cited as the main reason for the recent explosion in 'Cockney Culture' amongst American youths.
One Youth Leader in Los Angeles, who did not want to be named for fear of reprisals, said "This is tragic, as it represents the erosion of American culture and a cynical attempt by the purveyors of this poison to influence young people with a subversive, anti-societal message."
He continued, " And the way those guys talk about their women folk, it just aint right. I mean, imagine it was your sister they sayin' got more 'rabbit than Sainsburys', huh, how you feel then? My momma she lived in this neighbourhood for nearly thirty years, now she can't go a walk without someone shouting 'Gertcha' as she walking by. And whats all this wearing trousers around their waist with braces ?"
Sales figures of Pork Pie hats and stay-press trousers have seen a tenfold increase as retailers struggle to cope with the demand caused by the new fashions which have become essential kit for all want-to-be-cockneys, or WOCKNEYS as they are known.