Prime Minister Gordon Brown has rejected an attempt by Iceland to repay thousands of British investors’ lost bank deposits with airborne mineral deposits.
Near-bankrupt Iceland claimed today that its airdrop of the nation’s most valuable remaining assets right across Europe represents ‘full and final settlement’ of the nation’s international debts.
Finance Minister Steingrimur Sigfusson told reporters at a hastily convened news conference: “After several minutes consideration, we have decided to announce that this is the fairest way of settling our financial differences with our European trading partners.
“Once swept up, the ash will represent a valuable stockpile of highly prized elements including magnesium, iron, gold and some traces of platinum.
“We say that this is the fairest way of distributing the resources that we have left and puts an end to the unseemly squabbling that erupted when our banking system collapsed.”
Mr Sigfusson said that he believes most people will welcome the fact that only a very small amount will fall into the hands of bankers.
“As they all work on the top floors of very tall buildings, they won’t be able to get downstairs quickly enough with a dustpan and brush.”
Gordon Brown said that the offer is ‘unnacceptable’ and warned Iceland that dropping ash on British streets is an offence that carries an on-the-spot fine of £50.”
