Tourists visiting the UK should be barred from getting culturally insensitive Queen Mother tattoos, says Jeremy Hunt, Secretary of State for Department for Culture, Olympics Media and Sport.
East End residents have complained that tattoo parlours are gearing up for the Olympics to etch sacred images of the Queen Mother and other major and minor royals on to the skin of non-Royalist visitors.
"It’s a ruddy disgrace that foreigners want to half-inch our Royal icons by having their boat races plastered all over their Vera Lynns." said Harry Chapman, one disgruntled cockney. “I seen (sic) one fat old bird down Petticoat Lane yesterday, with a tattoo of our Queen Mum as a mermaid sitting right above her arse-crack. She was a ruddy Ozzy too, to add insult to injury.” he added.
The East End’s special relationship with the Royal family goes back to the Second World War when the Queen Mother refused to leave London during the Blitz, preferring to stay and support her loyal subjects. Most royal statues and images are now considered to be sacred objects by East Enders.
Jeremy Hunt said that the DCOMS has asked East End tattoo parlours to halt the activity. He has also instructed the Olympic committee, led by Sebastian Coe to set up official check points at entrances to the Games to ensure that offenders are asked to cover up or be removed.
The Queen Mother was unfortunately unavailable for comment, but a spokesman from Clarence House said, “If she’d been around today she’d have created a right pen and ink about it I’m absolutely sure. So, hat’s oorff to the East End Massive! That’s what I say.”