A bitter feud has erupted between disciples of both brain surgery and rocket science as both sides vie for the right to be acclaimed ‘much harder to do than almost everything else.’
The battleground was laid at the Annual Convention of Cord-Wearing Professions in Basildon, when it was alleged that a brain surgeon mocked a nearby rocket scientist for misjudging the trajectory of his bin-bound apple core by approximately 3 degrees, quipping, “It’s a good job you don’t send rockets to the moon!"
The situation escalated when the clearly affronted physicist retorted, "Fuck you, four eyes! One more word from you and I’ll lodge a rocket in your fucking cranium. Maybe one of your mates can have a rummage around and leave a scalpel in there for good measure!"
A tense, silent stand-off ensued as the rocket scientists tried to work out the exact mathematical expression of irony, and the brain surgeons um’d and ah’d over which part of the brain was required to understand it. Relatively soon, acerbic sparks flew and the two warring factions stood as close, but perennially opposed, as the lines on the cords they sported.
The news of the rift spread like wild fire, leaving confusion in it’s wake. “The phrases ‘It’s not rocket science’ and ‘It’s not Brain surgery’ are regularly used to illustrate the comparative simplicity of a task which at choice moments can seem insurmountable.” explains Roger McGuffin of the Institute of Psychology.
“Now people don’t know which is best and have no way of overcoming the difficulties of things like programming sky+ and taking off a bra. Now they simply pray that Eastenders will record itself; they pray for miracles.”
“It’s about bloody time!” proclaimed the Archbishop or Canterbury. “Where was brain surgery when Jesus helped a blind man to see without a fit nurse and a saw?! Where was rocket science when Jesus ascended to the heavens without, any fucking, well, computer-guided rocket propulsion?! That’s right - fucking nowhere. I'd sooner believe in magic than science.’
The end may be in sight however, after a band of philosophers entered into the debate, stating “Well, if you don’t have a brain then you can’t build a rocket and I reckon you can’t build a brain if you have a rocket. Confucius said something similar. I think. So, anyway, I guess brain surgeons win. But as for who is cooler?! Ah, bollocks! That's dutch to me.”