from someone called "Robert" who opened with the gambit "Hello, we notice that you are having problems with your computer, and we can help"
Mum - "I don't think so Ducks, 'cos I haven't got one"
Robert "Oh...nevertheless would you like to have a full computer security check"
Mum "Why don't you just piss off, that's a Good Boy"....clunk.
He only 'phoned back twice more.