Motorists across the UK have been warned that the 200 petaton nuclear explosion which destroyed the whole of the African continent could disrupt driving plans this weekend because of falling debris from the huge amount of sand, grit and incinerated animal and human bodies injected into the atmosphere.
Roads around Surrey are expected to be worst hit and the AA is advising motorists to "Minimise travelling and make sure that you carry additional windscreen washer fluid in case your car is hit by the burnt remains of a falling orphan's elbow."
"It's typical" said Brian Malone a 63 year-old retired civil servant from Guildford "As soon as we get a bit of decent weather and look forward to taking the caravan to a steam engine rally in Yorkshire this happens. I sometimes wonder if these things are done deliberately to stop me and the wife having a nice weekend away. Something should be done about it."
However, recognising the human pain created by the gigantic nuclear explosion Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg joined together to give their support to the people affected by the disaster releasing a statement which read "We send our heartfelt condolences to those affected by this terrible event. Everyone across the UK should join together and wish the people of Surrey well and hope that the predicted north-westerly breeze will mean the roads will be clear by next weekend."