A passenger ferry crossing from Liverpool to Birkenhead was stormed by Somali pirates last night with more than thirty passengers and crew on board. The Manchester Ship Canal is now on full alert after a group of militia men armed with AK47’s hijacked the ferry apparently disguised as Ken Dodd lookalikes.
Eye witness, Pete Donoghue said, “I was on my way back from Harry Ramsdens feeling a bit bloated like when I saw these guys in a big rubber dinghy smashing into the side of the ferry. A couple of the passengers helped them up. They must have thought it was a stag do gone wrong or something.”
Port officials and Merseyside police have confirmed that thirty people are being held by the pirates and, in a dramatic phone call from one passenger to his girlfriend he said that a large amount of bling had already been stolen from passengers, but this was before the hijackers had boarded the vessel.
In a statement to the Commons Stephen Twigg, Labour MP for Liverpool West Derby, said. “I am very concerned that innocent Liverpudlians have been caught up in this situation and need to establish if this is related to recent cuts to British Waterways’ budgets. However if Somali pirates continue to come to Liverpool they can expect a proper Kirby kiss.”
There are now serious concerns that essential food aid shipments to Liverpool and Manchester will be affected if piracy begins to take hold in the region.
Meanwhile, in a bizarre twist reports received from the International Maritime Organisation state that a Liverpool registered vessel has been involved in pirate attacks on merchant ships in Somali territorial waters. A senior port official in Mogadishu said, “If there’s any robbing to do around here we don’t want any Scousers sticking their oar in, thank you very much.”