Following successful trials of Diverted Traffic routes at a local level, the Department for Transport has given the go-ahead to expand the system into a fully-integrated national network.
‘The problem with localised diversions,’ said a DfT spokesman, ‘is that the Diverted Traffic signs will inevitably peter out, leaving the motorist to drive off aimlessly into the night. But now, the new nationally-integrated network of Diverted Traffic routes will enable motorists to enjoy total continuity and provide a far greater choice between various left, right and straight-on options.’
The motoring organisations have welcomed the move. ‘It takes motoring to a new level,’ said a spokesman for the AA, ‘creating an infinite matrix for the flow of diverted traffic. The only limit is your imagination. That, and your petrol tank.’
The DfT has asked motorists for their patience while the infrastructure is put in place. ‘There will of course be disruptions during the placement of cones and configuring of diverted traffic arrows.’
Jeremy Clarkson was not impressed. ‘I’ve had enough,’ he said, ‘I’m moving to France.’