Lots of good stuff there.
I imagine Julie Hartley Brewer would love to rip this one off.
thing is, I didn't notice it before
Has the headline changed?
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Love the tramp story today.
(9 posts) (5 voices)
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waylandsmithy
offlineMemberHi Ron,
Yep, my original headline was lousy.
I really must work on my headlines, they never seem to work. My 'wildlife' sub was roundly ignored yesterday, but I'm convinced it's my best sub, I spent ages on it!
It's weird. I thought my arctic roll sub was pretty weak, but it made it as a NiB. But a couple of other subs that I was really pleased with sank without a trace.
Perhaps I just have a crap sense of humour.
Posted 1 year ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberGreat FP. Loved the sub, not a weak line in it.
Headlines are buggers, though. I usually cock them up trying to be too clever or subtle, and quite rightly no-one bothers to read them. And they should be funny, even to the extent of revealing the main gag of the piece, so "British tramps under threat: special report" didn't quite cut it.
Good stuff, anyway.
Posted 1 year ago # -
waylandsmithy
offlineMemberCheers Rick, I shall definitely take that on board! I think I've been trying to condense the whole story into the headline, must stick to a relevant gag instead.
Posted 1 year ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberAnd it's a shame when you know the headline is the whole thing, and the rest of the story has to be just padding. That happens a bit here because we don't give as much prominence to great one-liners as the Mash or the Onion. So on the Mash, the "Blackberries in burqas" story was just a headline with good picture, but here it had to be a full 300-worder, or not get a pic.
I think you always have to find two great gags at least, for the headline and the last line. And they shouldn't be the same.
Maybe the left alerts are the way forward.
Mind you, what do I know? Bugger all, that's what.
Posted 1 year ago # -
waylandsmithy
offlineMemberHmm, I think I might be coming at the subs in the wrong way. I like puns, but normally have to think them up after writing the idea down. I normally start by thinking of a 'twist', rather than a joke. Do others work the same way? Do you have to make it funny afterwards??
Posted 1 year ago # -
newsbiscuit editorial team
offlineAdministratorWell done waylandsmithy on another excellent sub and worthy FP - and it raises an interesting point (at least before Britain's Got Talent starts) about the headline. One man's meat is another's pet chihuahua and all that, but for this particular office chimp, the headline simply didn't sell the funny contents well enough. Headlines need to draw the reader in, in much the same way as personal ad - and we have a lot of experience of those. "Excellent lover who can shag until 4am then unload the dishwasher on the way out" is more likely to get a look than "Pulse and bathes occasionally". A twist within the copy can work very well, but the twist should not be between the headline and the copy itself - ultimately we are a news parody and none of us would continue to read the Daily Sport if the headline was "Something happened in the world today - guess what". Because of course, incisive world commentary is the main reason for reading the Daily Sport.
The standard of subs has been excellent of late and please do all keep 'em coming. And not just when you're 'reading' the Sport...
Posted 1 year ago #
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