This month’s “public service announcement dressed up as news” press release has shocked tabloid readers with a growing list of unreasonable expectations from people calling the emergency services.
Requests for Police assistance included investigating a non-serious rape and asking them to try to catch a burglar rather than just handing out a crime number of insurance purposes.
Phone calls to the Fire service were just as astonishing. “One caller wanted us to attend an inferno at a rural cottage valued at less than £350,000. They must realise with the closure of small Fire Stations it is not worth using the diesel on a long journey just to attend smouldering ruins”.
The Ambulance service fared little better. “Chest pains more often than not disappear while waiting for the bus to take you to the Urgent Care centre. These people seem to think they own the Health Service!”
The real corker was a call recorded a few years ago. “Some joker actually expected us to take action against a Prime Minister for War crimes. You couldn’t make it up.”