Denmark, home of blasphemous cartoons and hard-core Lego porn, has reacted decisively to remove any foods that are remotely edible or healthy.
Lårs Nůtmøg, head of Denmark's tourism department, announced the ban on Marmite, after discovering that some people actually like the taste. There was also concern that it contained vitamins, which are highly dangerous for the Danes' clammy, palid complexion.
"we arë verý keen tø avoid attracting visitørs to our cøuntry", explained Lärs. "Sø far, we have repelled mœst people with our pickled fîsh, dry brott and greasy meätbølls. But a few people håve been getting by on sticky, bitter yěast extracts, and thïs must støp."
"We have alsø offended all Muslims, and øur meaty diet repels the vegetäriäns. Beer prices åre notoriously high, and the weather is äwful. Please dön't come hëre."
When asked why he was so against tourists visiting his country, Lärs replied "we are already clögged up with Volvos spilling over from Sweden, we don't want a löad of extra ones with caravans arrïving."
