An estate agent in Slough faces a barrage of cruel taunts and chants tomorrow, after reacting with surprise at the disclosure of Ryan Giggs' super-injunction.
"It appears I'm the last person in the office to have found this out", said Peter Bluff, 29. "I'm not on Twitter, and I'm not really into celebrity gossip. It's really embarrassing, I wish I cared about footballers' indiscretions a bit more."
Mr Bluff's co-workers were quick to make up a topical chant related to the injunction. To the tune of Lennon's 'Imagine', they repeatedly chanted 'Imogen there's no gossip, it's easy if you try', and made ironic references to other 'secrets', such as the identity of Luke Skywalker's father. A series of prank phonecalls were also attempted, using names from other popular injunctions.
Mr Bluff has vowed to spend more time reading his girlfriend's 'celebrity' magazines, and searching through online forums for salacious tittle-tattle. He has also taken out a super-injunction to prevent details of his Open University Financial Management course reaching his colleagues. "If they found out what I actually do in my spare time, they'll really take the mickey", explained Peter.