Computer nerd and Manchester Utd fan Tarquin Broadstaff has had his claim for the most amount of toilet tissue used for one ejaculation officially accepted by guinness world records. The record attempt was made on Saturday 14 may at approx 18:00 after watching his team clinch their nineteenth title in a boring 1-1 draw with Blackburn."I just got the urge"reported spotty geek Tarquin."I knew it would be a big load,as it had been fourteen hours since I had last spanked the monkey.But even I was surprised when it took a full twenty three sheets of Andrex pink blossom triple ply toilet tissue to clean up the mess that had been made on my stomache,chin and forehead."Said the greasy haired gimp."It immediately occurred to me that this might be the big one."Exclaimed the smug little twat."I placed the rancid spunkwad in a clear plastic bag and posted it straight to Guinness world records.I was over the moon when I received official recognition of my record.It will take a hell of a lot of jizz to break this record,I think it will stand for a long time."Said the detestable little manc.When asked to comment on the successful record attempt Marco Frigatti,presenter of Guinness world records inexplicably responded"Marco pronto."
Nerd breaks guinness world record for amount of tissue used for one ejaculation.
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