Amid mounting public criticism and accusations of double standards on their foreign policy the White House has announced details of a recent mission in Syria aimed at bringing down the current regime.
With their military already stretched by continuing operations in Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya the task was handed to 2 intelligence agents with the brief to infiltrate and undermine the Syrian government. Having set up a tailoring business in Damascus, Clothing for Influential Arabs, or CIA as they have become known, the 2 operatives offered to create a new outfit specially for president Bashar al-Assad, made out of a wondrous new fabric which is invisible to anybody unfit for their position, or just incompetent.
President al-Assad and his advisors expressed their admiration for the new fabric and requested that work begin on the outfit right away. After taking delivery of his new clothes Mr al-Assad immediately took the opportunity to show them off at a public appearance walking through the streets of Damascus. When a child calling out that the president was not wearing any clothes at all resulted in an awkward silence and uncomfortable atmosphere, he returned to his palace angry and embarrassed with his credibility shaken.
Barack Obama and senior US government officials watched the whole operation live via video-link, but their decision not to release the footage or still images due to ‘the distressing nature of the images of a naked president al-Assad’ has led conspiracy theorists to claim that the incident never actually took place.
Fashion magazine Vogue’s editor-in-chief Victoria Davydova has managed to get hold of some images of the outfit before it was delivered and plans to run a double page spread in next month’s issue. ‘The quality of the fabric looks outstanding and the bold use of striking, vibrant colours works really well and brings a delightfully contemporary twist to traditional Arabic dress’.
A White House spokesman has responded to reports that the child who called out has not been since by saying ‘We take every precaution to ensure the safety of civilians but unfortunately in operations like this there are always going to be risks. After all, this is the real world and not some sort of fairy tale.’
Nick Clegg’s attempts to contact the tailoring company to order a new suit have so far been unsuccessful.