Sick of being told what to do by bossy public-sector do-gooders with highly-paid non-jobs, facebook has retaliated by installing paedophiles on every page their children visit.
A bright, glossy 'contact us' button will be shown on every page of the site visited by the bureaucrats' children, enabling them to immediately contact paedos in their local area. A friendly, animated cartoon character has been unveiled by the site's publishers, which has been specially designed to lure children in as effectively as possible.
The subsequent pages will be designed to make the grooming experience as efficient and speedy as possible, to ensure the nation's children are most effectively sacrificed to punish petty officials with ideas beyond their station.
'That will teach the meddling busybodies' said a spokesman.