They're looking for an entertainments editor at Esquire, the men's mag for 0.00000001 per cent of the population.
You'll need a talent for nepotism, desperate social climbing, a finely tuned herd instinct and an ability to suck up to celebrities and sneer at the hoi polloi.
Here's the ad they posted: (If you can get through this without puking, you should become a coroner)
Britain's most stylish and sophisticated men's magazine is looking for a full-time talent wrangler with a proven track record of success to take responsibility of its celebrity content, from covers to fashion shoots, party pages to profiles.
The successful candidate will have a number of years' experience in a similar senior position on a leading magazine or newspaper supplement as well as impeccable contacts on both sides of the Atlantic in film, music, fashion and sport. He or she will have a genuine enthusiasm for Esquire, an innate sense of the kind of celebrities smart men want to see, a competitive edge and an ability to secure worldwide exclusives under constant pressure.
Other essential attributes: the desire to stay awake all night while waiting for a phone call from a Los Angeles publicist; the charm to soothe roiling egos on a fraught cover shoot; the persuasiveness to encourage a major Hollywood star to take her clothes off for little more than a free coffee. All that, and a sense of humour.
[No evidence of that so far]
Please send your CV to alex.bilmes@natmags.co.uk
