Blue sky thinking defence consultant Zac Woodruff claims to have re-written the rules of engagement for Her Majesty's armed forces, claiming that warfare is undergoing a 'total paradigm shift'.
The old ways of fighting battles are gong the way of the dodo, Woodruff told his audience of civil servants and cabinet ministers. 'What we need now is a battle centric, holistic war mongering strategy,' he said.
But it's not going to be easy, he warned. Much as the government needs an end to end bullets-to-blood integrated casualty-friendly ongoing service, it won't be able to deliver unless it truly understands its core values. 'The generals need educating' said the digital defence guru, 'and the best way to ringe fence the high value converged war processes, and maximise a return, would be to retain the services of a blue sky thinking digital defence guru.'
If you rent him, you can pass off the costs as operational expenses, rather than capital expenditure, meaning that nothing will show up on the budget until next April, he told the ministers.
Not everyone was impressed, however. 'What an on-going, integrated, holistic load of bollocks,' said a security guard who was working at the seminar. 'It's twats like him that made me leave the army.'