Marvel Studios, maker of such hit films as "Iron Man" and "Iron Man 2," have admitted to press officials this week that their new "Thor" movie was their first bid at controlling the global climate.
Kenneth Branagh, director of the film, was the first to raise such complaints last year during filming:
I don't know what they thought they were doing. It was like they were trying to play as gods or something. My attempt to infuse this classic comic tale with Shakespearean weight and depth was often met with [executive producer] Stan Lee shouting, "It needs more boomshakka-lakka and crashy-powness. We need to bring the thunder."
When asked for comment, Stan Lee would only repeat "Excelsior" in a hushed whisper and stare at the sky.
Officials at Marvel Studios invited the press down to what they dubbed "The War Room" (a local Burger King) and had this to say:
Our thinking is, why not? Look around you. Hurricanes, tsunamis, wild fires, Charlie Sheen, something has to be done. So we called down the thunder. Thor's gonna clean all this up like a hippie hurricane from hell.
When asked about the new "Avengers" movie, officials declined to comment, however one eye-patch laden member of security was heard muttering, "We gotta get these muthaf*@king reporters out of our muthaf*@king war room. I need a Whopper with cheese."