It has been announced today by the World Wildlife Fund that they are to start a special breeding programme to protect the endanged species ,The Liberal Democrat. Liberal Democrat populations have been in danger for several years after several years of Labour Governments and Chav breeding has reduced their territory to a few small areas around Sheffield and Liverpool. Luckily, large populations of unemployed people staying in bed all day has allowed the Liberals to survive unmolested here as long as they don't venture out on a Saturday night. Attempts at making these areas Unesco World Heritage Sites were abandoned after someone from the organisation described the areas as "a bit shitty". Although belonging to the order Carnivora and the Human Species they prefer a diet of almost 99% lentils, although some have been seen eating Scampi Frys and drinking Babychams when in large groups. Liberals are generally easy to spot as their poor diet and habit of sitting up all night talking gibberish means they have large black rings around their eyes. The Liberal's rarity is recognised by the fact that they are now the official emblem of the equally rare Guardian Newspaper . Along with their poor diet the Liberal Democrat population has been kept low because of their reluctance to breed with members of the opposite sex. Recent attempts at artificial insemination with some of the butcher females have met with some success and the amount of Liberals in captivity has been increasing slowly. The population in the wild is estimated to be about 3,000 with another 200 in some 50 Zoos around the world. The Coalition Government recently donated a pair to Edinburgh Zoo in an attempt to increase the amount of Liberals left in Scotland. The pair have shown a typical reluctance to mate and have spent most of their times arguing over a kid's whirly windmill and stabbing other animals in the back.
WWF Announce New Liberal Democrat Breeding Programme
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