The recently released order of service has revealed that Britain’s future queen will answer the question ‘will you take William Arthur Philip Louis to be your husband?’ by giving a ‘W’ sign, followed by the word ‘whatevah’. During the ceremony, Ms. Middleton will also give a derisive snort to the phrase ‘for richer, for poorer’ before turning around to give a thumbs-up to her mother, former air hostess Carole.
According to Ingrid Seward, Editor-In-Chief of Majesty Magazine, this change to the traditional marriage vow is designed to show that, while rapidly ascending the ranks of royalty; Kate is determined to acknowledge her ‘commoner’ roots. ‘She’ll definitely be keeping her feet on the ground – possibly in some Jimmy Choos.’
The royal couple will also be making other concessions to working class sensibilities, including the distribution of disposable Kodak cameras, a selection of colouring books in the corner of Westminster Abbey to occupy the youngsters and a request to the official photographer that he takes a picture of ‘both nans together’.