IT experts were taken by surprise by the release of an iPad rival from Swarovski Crystal today. The tablet, marketed under the name 'iGlass', is twice the price of the iPad, and considerably more shiny.
Featuring a solid crystal display and no connectivity to speak of, iGlass is instantly recognisable, whether it is being used flamboyantly on public transport, in the office or while cocking about in a trendy restaurant. The slimness of the gadget is complemented by a crippling weight and reassuringly unwieldy height and width.
A spokesman for Swarovski gushed over the latest must-have gadget: "we have managed to combine 'must-have' good looks, with an excuse to flaunt it at every opportunity", explained Gary Bling. "People will instantly assume you are fashionable, wealthy and vaguely aware of the internet".
But the device is another withering blow to Adobe. When asked if the iGlass supported Flash, Mr Bling replied "ehh?". The company was equally dismissive of USB, WiFi, electricity and home office guidelines on the carrying of offensive weapons. "Our market research indicates that our target audience considers functionality to be less important than the three sh's: shinyness, showiness and shatterability. We hope to overtake the iPod in these key areas".
The Swarovski press conference was dramatically cut short when the bright lights of the stage were focused by the crystal tablet, setting fire to Mr Bling's trousers. The incident was quickly dismissed, being blamed on the device being held wrongly.