IT experts were taken by surprise by the release of an iPad rival from Swarovski today. The tablet, marketed under the name 'iGlass', is more expensive than the iPad, and considerably more shiny.
Featuring a solid crystal display and no connectivity to speak of, iGlass is instantly recognisable, whether it is being used flamboyantly on public transport, in the office or while cocking about in a trendy restaurant. The slimness of the gadget is handsomely accompanied by a crippling weight and reassuringly unwieldy height and width.
A spokesman for Swarovski gushed sickeningly over the latest must-have gadget: "we have managed to combine 'must-have' good looks, with an excuse to flaunt it at every opportunity", explained Gary Bling. "People will instantly assume you are fashionable, wealthy and vaguely aware of the internet".
But the device is another withering blow to Adobe. When asked if the new device supported Flash, Mr Bling replied "ehh?". The device is equally dismissive of USB, WiFi, electricity and home office guidelines on the carrying of offensive weapons.
The Swarovski press conference was dramatically cut short when the bright lights of the stage were focused by the crystal tablet, setting fire to Mr Bling's trousers. The incident was quickly dismissed, being blamed on the device being held wrongly.