In yesterday's sensational news Mr DJ MacSporran of Inverness claimed he had found the elusive Higgs-Boson particle. This particle has been the holy grail of physicists for years now and could prove many theories about the origins of the cosmos.
The report,in the North Highland Gazette, explained that Mr MacSporran had recently been on a camping trip to Skye with his wife and two small children. 'it was a nice day right enough so I decided to clean out the car, said Mr MacSporran, 48, 'underneath the passenger seat I found...yes you have guessed it...a Higgs-Boson particle'
This news had the world wide scientific community in a high state of excitement, journalists from all over the globe rushed to Inverness to interview this shy man who has attended many lectures on sheep rearing.
Today we can announce an exclusive... Mr MacSporran had admitted that he made 'an understandable error'. As he explained in his own words 'following analysis it has has turned out that the particle was in fact a small piece of Malteser, an honest mistake easily made'
When asked about the £2 million pound prize he had received from CERN he said that he would he gladly hand back whatever was left following his purchase of a modest distillery and a year's supply of Irn-Bru.