Scientists in England at the University of Reading have found new evidence to support the suspected theory that eating olives causes a person to become insane. The high levels of oil found in green olives produce a reaction in mammals’ brains when consumed in very high doses. It had previously proved impossible for scientists to administer a high enough dose of olives, even to an animal as small as a rat, to verify the alleged effects. Previous attempts had lead to various failures including overweight rats and one rat that exploded after being force fed over one thousand Greek Kalamata olives, famous for their use in the Greek olive oil industry.
Now, however, a method of concentrating olives into a liquid that can be injected, has been developed, a true breakthrough in the field of olive related psychosis. One dosage of the compressed oils contains over one million giant green Mammoth olives from the Puglia region of southern Italy. Injected into a rat the results are quite astonishing. Speaking on behalf on the research team in Berkshire, Dr. Charles Alimony reported that upon receiving the injection ‘the animal went quite insane, it ate its own tail; no sane animal would do this’. A breakthrough as important as this one will always gain negative attention alongside the positive. Mr. Barry Eleven of the RSPCA asserted that ‘a rat being made to eat her own tail is no more acceptable than a human being made to eat his own balls.’
Experiments on humans are to begin soon, and it is expected that the number of olives required to create a dose powerful enough to affect the average male human will reach over two billion. As this ground breaking research is still incomplete, the researchers are advising the public to keep a watchful eye on olive intake, as the suspected dangerous effects of high consumption are now very real.