[b]Video footage of an alleged autopsy on a dead cat found in a remote wooded region of Siberia is probably bullshit, scientists concluded last night.
The film, which has garnered more than five million Youtube hits, begins with a cameraman on the edge of a snowy forest near Irkutsk pointing out the remains of an alleged cat-like being which has had one of its legs ripped off. The creature looks like an extra from a Whiskers advert with an emaciated ‘tabby’ appearance and a long ginger tail.
One of the men in the video is heard giving an expletive-laden commentary in Russian, shouting ‘fuck me that looks like a cat - no it really does this time ’ before concluding ‘or it could be a squirrel.‘
The video appeared after villagers in the area reported hearing strange miaowing-type noises and loud purring coming from the depths of the forest, with one witness capturing a small agile creature moving quickly across a clearance on his mobile phone. It then comes to an abrupt halt and stares intently up at a tree.
And the theories have been lent weight by the discovery of a small silvery metallic object around three inches in diameter which bears the inscription “Tiddles” in Cyrillic script.
Yuri Ugeney , a local man with designs on his sister, says he believes the footage is genuine since the forest has been notoriously popular with local felines who go there to indulge in routine hunting activities, with eight out of ten owners saying their cats preferred it .
However, scientists who have studied the slides claim the organism is ‘most probably’ of extra-terrestrial origin and dismiss the cat theory as nothing more than peasant folklore, the product of too many nights swigging vodka by a campfire.
Dimitri Yevchenko, Professor of Exobiology at Moscow State University, said:
“The trouble with these so-called cat autopsies is that they’re very easy to fake. This is the sort of thing that could have been knocked up in an afternoon by a couple of film students. “
“Look at the size of those tentacles emanating from its chest . ”
“If that’s a cat, I’ll eat my grandmother. “