A cross-party group of peers has complained at the sudden influx of political asylum seekers. "I don't have anything against them personally" said one peer who refused to be named. "But there's just too many of 'em."
"They come over here (from the commons) and take all our desks and phones", slavered another anonymous peer: "the first thing they do is fill in an expenses form and demand somewhere to sit. Most of them don't want to work, they're just here to live off the statute."
117 new lords have emigrated to the House in less than a year. "The worse thing is the smell of their cooking: it's all Greggs pasties and fish and chips. Bloody hell, who left that pork pie on my seat? Is that one of Prescott's? I'll never get the gravy out of the ermine."
But the main complaint has been the dilution of the culture of the esteemed House. "They don't know how to behave!" roared Lord Thrashing of Little Bigot. "Some of 'em can barely curtsey, they don't even bow to you when they pass you in the corridor. And the language! I suspect some of them haven't even been to prep school."
The Lords are demanding a strict cap on entry, particularly on those who live outside the home counties.