The Church of England today anounced that due to concern from some parents, a childrens version of the Easter story will be produced, without the violent imagery.
The Arch-Bishop of Cantebury today said "Some parents have rightly pointed out that this story is completely unsuitable for young people and could give them nightmares, so we have rewritten the story in a way that will be less traumatic for young minds but still preserves the true meaning of the easter story."
The new version of the story starts traditionaly enough with Jesus riding into town on a donkey, but this time he is wearing a hello-kitty riding helmet.
At the last supper Jesus shares bread and ribena and tells Peter that he will deny him three times before the male-chicken crows. Later Jesus gets arrested in Gethsemone but instead of cutting off the ear of the soldier, Peter just gives him an indian burn and Jesus calls a qualified first-aider to put some ointment on it for him.
Instead of being whipped, Jesus will be tickled with feather dusters made to sit on the naughty step and instead of being nailed to a cross, he will be given an ASBO, miraculously on the third day, the ASBO is lifted.