Half way through what was (and unfortunately, still is) a terribly interesting day at work, I was researching the typical recovery periods for a fractured foot.
It is good to know I suppose.
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A bruised foof is bad enough!
I do hope you're better at your job than you are at typing.
Oh God no! I'm terrible. However, telling someone it would take 6-12 weeks to recover from a broken fanny would be a relative low point.
I've been typing for a living for over 10 years and still use just 2 fingers and look at the keyboard every time.
My 11yr old has a broken keyboard on his laptop, and can type more quickly than I can.
He uses 2 fingers, and I was trained to touch-type.
I have oft thought that touch-typing is a false economy. I think a race off between the trained typist and the two-fingered-machine-gun typist would yield surprising results. The only real benefit is that you don't have to look at your keyboard and therefore can daydream more effectively.
Speaking of which, who would win in a fight between a squirrel and a hedgehog?
The squirrel, hands down. The hedgehog has his spikes but wouldn't be able to cope with the movement and hand speed of the squirrel. I think it would go the distance but would end in a rather one sided points win.
I know, but if it were a wrestling match, how do you pin a hedghog?
And also, if it were a boxing match, the prickly fella would have quite a defence. I don't think that the boxing authorities have really tackled the issue of fighters curling up into a ball of spikes until the other person has gone away, so I can't see him being penalised.
I am going for a Ali vs. Forman-style result, with the hedgehog overcoming all odds to knock out the exhausted squirrel with a single blow to the head after 312 tense rounds. Job's a good'un.
If it were a wrestling match then we could be looking at a different outcome. The squirrel would have to try to use his speed to get some sort of submission hold because, as you say, winning by pinfall would prove tricky.
If it were a boxing match and the hedgehog curled up into a ball of spikes he would probably be penalised for lack of aggression. It's an interesting approach though to not attack, kind of similar to Audley Harrison, but with a defence.
And 312 rounds?? You're now talking about some kind of unlicenced, last man standing type of match rather than a regulation boxing match. I'll have no part in speculating on such a barbaric idea.
If you're going to pose such questions I really think you need to clarify the rules they will be fighting under at the start to avoid confusion.
I agree, otherwise it's just silly.
A well coordinated hedgehog, using his quills, could probably manage 100 wpm. A squirrel's stumpy arms would be a distinct disadvantage.
It is true that this kind of bout would be unlicenced, unless you have better luck with the authorities than I did. It would be a fight to the end in the mould of the endless test match, tie-breakerless tennis and gladiatorial deathmatch croquet. I apologise whole heartedly for assuming that you would instantly understand.
Right, I've nipped out to the park and I now have a squirrel and a hedgehog in a cage. The hedgehog is asleep and the squirrel isn't doing anything much. I've explained the rules to them to avoid the confusion that we had earlier. Any idea how I get them to start fighting?
Well, historically they fervently disagree on the relative merits of Shakespeare and Webster. So suggesting that The Duchess of Malfi is greater than anything penned by The Bard should get them going at each other. Are you sure the hedgehog isn't just in its fighting stance?
That doesn't seem to have worked. Hold on, I've got a grey squirrel, does that matter? Because if it's supposed to be a red one I'm calling this experiment off right now, I don't have the time to go and find a red one.
Squirrels are notoriously dirty fighters - they always go for the nuts.
What is it with NB and squirrels?
For those who are unaware of our illustrious sporting background, NB is the home of the GB Olympic Squirrel Licking team.
There's probably stuff in the archives about it, but I'm too lazy to find it.
According to a story on 5 Live today Usain Bolt would lose a 100m dash against the top grey squirrel sprinter, a fine specimen called Barry Nutkins. So I think the result of a wrestling match with the hedgehog is moot as the squirrel would leg it after seeing the hedgehog's spines. They are as wise as they are speedy.
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