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I'm feeling rather left out and quite peeved that no-one's had a pop at me yet

(20 posts) (11 voices)

Started 4 years ago by jp1885
Latest reply from Scroat

jp1885

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Therefore, you're all a bunch of bastards!

Posted 4 years ago #
Zadok the second

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*pop*

There you go.

Posted 4 years ago #
Mary Evans

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Don't worry JP. We're all saying it behind your back.

Posted 4 years ago #
QorbeQ

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I'll say it to his face, or if his face isn't available I'll at least leave him a hastily-scribbled note before he gets back and sees who it's from...

Posted 4 years ago #
Scroat

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Excuse me if I don't sidle up to my accuser, roll on my back, whimper, and wave my arms and legs in the air while waiting to have my tummy tickled and maybe, if I'm lucky, get a pat on the head...

But I was gardening at the weekend and can't move today.

However...

*POP* if that helps.

Posted 4 years ago #
rickwestwell

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I see Rikkor's been at the tags again... :-)

Posted 4 years ago #
Scroat

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Or the tabs

Posted 4 years ago #
jp1885

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Damn those tags - why do they have to be so piercingly accurate?

Posted 4 years ago #
Des Custard

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I need a bit more to go on, stereotype-wise, before I can take a proper pop. Please fill in the questionnaire and I'll get back to you asap.

Posted 4 years ago #
fun and games

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Lardy Attention Seeking Twat. I actually refer to a kid I teach as an AST (most of the aforementioned), but he doesn't look to be as keen on doughnuts as you. Will that do?

Posted 4 years ago #
jp1885

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That'll do nicely - though I'm more of a savory (pizza and kebab) than sweet (doughnuts) man.

Posted 4 years ago #
Mary Evans

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I think you're an incredibly sweet man, JP.
Ya wanker.

Posted 4 years ago #
sauce

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JP, how could you forget what Oxy and I did to you in Ledbury?

Posted 4 years ago #
Scroat

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Sure I had my shopping list here somewhere

Posted 4 years ago #
The All New Jeni B

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Oh for fuck sake! Haven't you taken the hint yet jp?
The reason no-one had taken a pop at you was because we were all hoping you'd just fuck off.

Now fuck off.

(x)

Posted 4 years ago #
jp1885

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Ah, that's more like it - 'fuck off', 'wanker', 'shopping list' - thanks all, I feel included now :-)

JP, how could you forget what Oxy and I did to you in Ledbury?

With the help of expensive therapy and strong medication Sauce.

Posted 4 years ago #
edward hack

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west midlands sex god **?+*&"*?#**????????
is that in Tipton or Gornall

Posted 4 years ago #
Zadok the second

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Surely 'west midlands sex god' is an oxymoron?

Posted 4 years ago #
Des Custard

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Dear Mr 1885

Thank you for your completed questionnaire and direct debit mandate. This month's personalised pop is: 'Toss off, you pisser'.

Posted 4 years ago #
Scroat

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Watch this space! Next month we're offering "Fuck off you wanker" with a free "Bugger off you <insert regional description here> pillock.

Also watch out for more Buy One Get Stuffed Free offers in June!!

Posted 4 years ago #

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