Social networking giant Facebook today agreed to install a 'Totally tedious friend' alert box on every users profile.
This follows a high-level meeting with several middle-aged aunts and a schoolfriend with psoriasis.
A spokesperson for Facebook said "Many of our members are in constant danger of predatory aquaintances inflicting long-term tedium on them. Innocent users who just want to find out whether old Johnny Williams actually ended up married wind up reading update after update of drivelling nonsense about his three children. The environment just isn't safe anymore."