Lansley apology in full:'I'm sorry you're too thick to have it explained to you'
(7 posts) (4 voices)
Did I go charging ahead with all those tricky syllables when your heads are full of sugar and spice, and all things nice, nursie nursies?
If they'd stormed the stage, what weapons do you think they'd have armed themselves with? Matron charging like a rabid Boudicca, swinging a colostomy bag around her head and volleying a bed pan at him...
The language of public apologies is fascinating being as it is increasing composed in the third person passive voice. Like say; 'I'm so sorry if for some reason you're upset that a fist of mine found it's way into your face'.
I'm terribly sorry that I'm too chock full-o-flu for this to work itself into a NIB.
The apology that REALLY annoys me is on railway stations,when the announcement says 'I'm sorry to inform you that the train you want to catch has been cancelled.' Who's this 'I'? It's not a person! It's a computer chip! You are not a person! You're not even a number, let alone a free man...
You'd have more cause to be annoyed if the Tannoy said "hello, John. How are you today? What's that you're trying to hide in your briefcase, John?"
"Nurse, what are you doing with that daffodil? Nurse? Nurse! Security, help! Aaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh!'
I'd be surprised more than anything else, as I don't have a briefcase. And at least the message would be personal, rather than all this false corporate friendliness. It's the railway equivalent of 'have a nice day' or 'enjoy'.
Oh, and the other one which irritates me is when I see a bus which says 'Sorry I am out of service'. So busses are now sentient beings and have the capability to display their own signs?
Don't treat us like idiots! Oh - far too late...
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